Monday, February 15, 2016

Assignment 4: Personal Cultural Artifacts


 1. Bookshelves in my bedroom. I began receiving books as presents from the time I was in 1st grade. My mother read books to my siblings and I every night until I was probably 12 and I stopped listening, and even then she'd still read to us on long car trips.


2. Piano room at home. Part of my culture is enough comfort with my family that I can sing and play music at any time and it doesn't annoy anyone. Furthermore, I grew up listening to music with primarily piano or orchestral scores-- there isn't a guitar or drum set to be seen in the house. This image represents the culture of my musical taste and ability my family's music focus gave me to learn to be a musician.

3. In my home, the pantry is fair game. It is always full of food. My culture has been that there will always be food to eat when I want it and I don't need to limit myself or wait for family mealtimes if I want to eat. A culture of ease towards food.

4. My mother keeps these folders on the wall in the mudroom. She puts mail for each child or important documents in here. This is a great example of the culture of organization that pervades my home. For us it is a given that things are always clean and put in their place. If there isn't a place for something, you make one, like these folders. 

5. In our house, we lock the bathroom door when we're using it. Privacy is a part of our bathroom culture, but not our bedroom culture-- we do not lock our bedroom doors ever. Even after I turned 18 it was a rule I just continued to keep. Mom can pop in to vacuum any time she likes even if I'm not home and I don't feel my privacy has been violated. But the best way to signal to someone that the bathroom is in use is to lock the door (although we do always turn out the light when we leave a room-- culture of saving energy). This was an uncomfortable realization for me when an aunt and uncle's family stayed with us for a month and I walked in on people several times.

6. We also always sit down when we use the restroom in my home-- man or woman, it doesn't matter. It's cleaner and less noisy. And when we are finished, we always shut the very top lid, too. This unique cultural difference means I don't get along very well with male roommates.

7. General cleanliness is part of American culture. You're taught to wash your hands after using the restroom. But there are plenty of people who don't do it. Not in my culture. I was raised to be a germaphobe, haha, so not washing is never ever an option! Sometimes I just need to go wash my hands even if I haven't been to the restroom-- usually after coming home from a public place (like campus).

8. Part of my culture is that I have my own bedroom. This wasn't the case while growing up in a very small house with plenty of siblings. But when I was 12 we moved, and so during my adolescence I became used to being alone in my room. This culture is very strange in, say, certain classes in China where the students go to boarding school and might even share a room with their parents their whole life.

9. Landline (but we have cell phones, as well). Part of my culture is the expectation of being available. If I don't text people back relatively quickly, they get impatient. If I were to leave my cell phone at home, say, and only respond to texts in the evening when getting home from my obligations, my friends would annoyed! But I often do just leave my phone sitting in my room when studying in the study so that I can be free of it. So my culture of 'being available' is less complete than most Americans.

10. This picture represents the culture of values in my family. Not only do we have a distinct set of frequently-reinforced religious / moral values, but we also consciously value value. Get it? We have a culture of daily trying to develop Christlike attributes, which shows itself in my Mom posting inspirational sayings like this on the pantry door. The saying rotates every month. We look at it often, think about it, and it influences how we live. So it is also a cyclical cultural feature, coming back to influence our culture because of how prevalent we make it.

11. We always have fresh fruit available, but have very little unhealthy food around the house. The is a part of our culture that's difficult for some people when they stay with us for extended periods. They're apt to say, "There's nothing to eat here ever..." Yet for me, having to cook something if I want to eat or eating fresh fruit when I'm hungry is very normal.

12. My family culture includes expectations that when we have a family meal, everyone is involved in either cooking or cleaning. We had a special family breakfast together for President's Day, and since I didn't cook or prepare, I washed the dishes. What's more, our culture is to wash the dishes immediately after dirtying them. Often the person cooking leaves no dishes to be washed except those the food is being served in.

13. Formal culture dictates couches as the place where Americans sit, but in my family, despite having really comfortable couches, when we gather in the family room or just sit there reading / on the computer, you'll generally find most of us sitting on the floor leaning against the foot of the couch. We usually put a pillow behind our back, and I always have a pillow on my lap, too, and sometimes on my feet (when it's cold) when I'm relaxing in the living room. This is my family's informal norm as opposed to a formal norm.

14. A unique formal norm to our family, however, is that no one uses the table without a placemat or putting a tablecloth on it. Because it's a wooden table that we don't want scratched, you'll often find us throwing down a cloth placemat or pulling out a tablecloth to put on the table before we use it, even just for a bowl of cereal.

15. Another part of our culture is that shoes are always removed when you get into the house. If you enter from the garage, they're left in the mudroom. But one person is generally only supposed to have one pair of shoes in the mudroom so it isn't too cluttered. So we usually keep only a convenient pair of shoes in the mudroom if we need to run quickly outside for something and carry any other shoes we wear back to our bedroom rather than walking there to remove them.

16. Another value that is part of my culture, reflected here, is preparedness. We keep a year's storage in a cold storage room in the basement (that this is even a room still part of our architectural culture is significant), and this food, unlike the pantry food, is not to be taken freely. 

17. Here is a great example of a culture of tensions between my, my father, and my mom. My dad is from a family who loves to hunt, and part of his culture is keeping trophies mounted on the walls. My mom's culture is that rustic, violent decor like that is unseemly. So they've compromised and my dad gets to put his trophies only in the basement recreation room. As a vegetarian, these things are offensive to me and my culture of passivity, so I include this photo as part of a room that I rarely visit, because I don't feel comfortable because of how it is decorated.

18. Americans generally value fitness and exercise, at least visually if not themselves taking part in it. But isn't it interesting that that culture isn't put on display. These workout machines aren't put in our living room upstairs where everyone who comes into the house can see them. Rather, we put them in a room guests are unlikely to see and where we can exercise privately. Some people work out in public or outside, but I grew up working out only in private, never at gyms (like I talked about last time), so this picture reflects that part of my culture.

19. Growing up we always used these... poofs to wash our bodies when showering. It wasn't strange to me. I figured everyone did. You put bodywash on the poof or on a loofa and use it to get clean. When I first moved away after high school and as a missionary, I realized that this is something many other men don't do! I was stunned that they thought they were cleaning themselves by just using a bar of soap and their hands to shower! How does that remove any dead skin?! They were just as surprised that I would use something that is cultural construed as more feminine to bathe.


20. These pictures of artwork in my bedroom represent more of my value culture, namely that religious art should be a part of our lives to remind us of God. 

21. Finally, this picture represents one of my most prized cultural aspects: a bed is to be made when you wake up. I always keep my room very clean, and a room can be otherwise tidy, but if the bed is not made up, it will never look really clean. So when I wake up every morning, I immediately make my bed before praying. This morning routine displays the values of orderliness and spirituality that are essential to me.



I really enjoy these assignments because they help me be more humble about my success in school growing up. I can see how many things about my culture enabled me to do well in school. It wasn't all just about my natural intelligence or capacity. My family prized reading, being orderly, quiet (that's hard to show in pictures, but the only sounds ever in my home are if someone is practicing the piano or voice techniques), obedient, normal Mormon religious values, and healthy living, eating, and sleeping patterns that made school the sort of thing that would naturally be easier for me than for a child with a culture that was very different from what is found at school. My cultural and social capital, as bestowed on me by my culture, are as much part of me being 'smart' as actually having a good brain!



Monday, February 8, 2016

Assignment 3: Being the "Other"


It was difficult for me to think of a place where I'd really feel truly uncomfortable without having to go a long ways away, but thankfully the idea of going to the gym was included in the assignment description! I have never been to a gym since I had a weights section of my 9th grade P.E. class, and that (just like all other P.E. classes) was a little traumatizing for me, so the gym seemed the perfect choice. I certainly approached the assignment with enough consternation to illustrate to myself just how other I was going to be.

I don't have classes until 1 pm every day, and so I planned to go to the gym in the morning on Wednesday. But I couldn't bring myself to go do something difficult like that. So I pushed it off. And pushed it off. And pushed it off. Finally, Saturday morning rolled around and it was the last real day I would have to go. Just the thought of being the other, knowing I would be the other, stressed me out!

I took a long time obsessing over what I'd wear. I only own one really ratty old pair of sport shorts that I wear as pajamas, and I felt really uncomfortable wearing them in public. But I always think of gym-goers as having a very specific uniform, and if I come in looking really different, I was sure they'd recognize me right away as someone who didn't belong. So I tried to do the 'look': athletic shoes, tall black socks, shorts (I wore a pair of summer, not-sport-shorts that I own), and a black T-shirt. I didn't own a shirt with some school or athletic logo or that was made of some workout-convenient fabric, however, so I knew I wasn't fully fitting the bill.

I had never been in the Smith Field-house before, and it took me a while to find the gym inside the building, all the while, I noticed that even the smell of the place made me uncomfortable and withdrawn. I am actually fairly naturally gifted at athletics-- when I have a kind person to help teach me and I'm actually interested in learning, I can do well at any sport. But I've never had any interest in learning sports besides tennis and volleyball, and so my poor performance led to a lot of embarrassment on my part in P.E. classes and neighborhood games growing up. So even the smell of athletics, which I've associated so long with embarrassing situations, makes me tense. The mixture of sweat, deodorant, and something else indefinable... not the smell of the locker room, but the smell of a gymnasium... it made me feel other before I was even at the place itself!

When I finally arrived, the person at the counter where you have to swipe your BYU I.D. card was an unsmiling, athletic guy. I was sure he was judging me for being a first timer because I didn't know where or how to swipe my I.D. So being other made me feel paranoid. The gym was unfortunately packed, not just with machines, which lined every wall and filled the center of the room, but with people. As I walked in, it seemed like every single treadmill along the long wall to my right was taken by some extremely fit person, all of whom were surely staring at me. I looked in vain for some corner place where I could sit and 'stretch' out of sight in order to get accustomed to the room. Finding none, I found the best place I could between two machines nearly at the edge, away from the gaze of most of the cardio crazies, and began stretching. But soon enough it was time to try the machines.

I was sure I was doing something wrong. First of all, I felt ridiculous as I walked around the whole circuit of the weight machines. They all looked so ridiculously convoluted. How on earth am I supposed to fit my body into that? What does it do? What do I push? Pull? There were instructions on each machine, so eventually, when none of them looked immediately forthcoming, I starting reading the instructions on the machine farthest away from the treadmills (the benches for the bench press were right next to me, but luckily weren't as full as the cardio section, and the people working out there were naturally looking skyward, not at me). After reading, I tried out the machine and managed to figure it out fairly easily, which was nice.

I proceeded to try out each machine, but after a while, I ran into other people using them as well. "What was the protocol for waiting for a machine?" I wondered. "That guy's been standing by mine for 30 second on his phone. Does that mean I'm taking too long? Where am I supposed to stand and which direction should I look if I want to queue for this next machine? I don't want this girl to feel like I'm rushing her..." Not knowing the protocol made me feel very other and even more nervous.

I even ran into a couple of people I knew. Luckily, they were nice guys and seemed a little uncomfortable there themselves. If I'd run into someone obviously gym savvy, I don't know if I would have tried to hide or been brave enough to ask her / him for advice!

I noticed that no one was talking at all, and my interpretation was that people were very focused, and wouldn't appreciate being distracted. It made me feel like tiptoeing around. And that in spite of the music being played, which (though not really loud) was of this indescribable mixture of genres. I can say that I would never have voluntarily listened to a single song being played, however, and that made me feel not just uncomfortable, but a little irritable, too, that I had to do this hard / strange thing while listening to terrible music. What, the jocks don't like Lady Gaga?

In conclusion, I realized through this experience, that though I have trained myself out of feeling uncomfortable as the other in most situations, there are yet some very specific instances when I feel other because past experiences I've had dispose me towards insecurity. I responded to this by withdrawing, being more shy and timid, and feeling a lot of anxiety. I can vividly imagine that students undergoing this kind of experience at school would have a really hard time of it! If even the thought of school, the smell of school, the sight of school gives them anxiety and makes them feel a little nauseated?! I will have to put in an awful lot of effort into making my classroom safe and my teaching accessible for every student if that is the level of discomfort some feel.

Note: It felt wrong to take any photos while in the gym because no matter where I turned there would have been someone else in the picture, and no one wants their picture taken while working out, right? Oh, wait, that's wrong. I think gym selfies are a thing for athletic people. So I made do with taking a selfie (also a new thing for me) of my workout outfit before heading off to the gym. I've also added a picture below from the BYU website describing the gym so you can get an idea for how it looks.